Popcorn! But That's Not Fair!
by LilyPadADV
Summary: Emmett has a secret movie night while the gang is out hunting. Jacob barges in and soon chaos ensues, including a 'manly fight', Grizzly Bear shakes, and a Harry Potter identity crisis when the family returns! : R & R Please.


**The contest ends in 2 hours....I'm cutting it close. XD I dont' reallly care if I win for this one, I just wanted to do it because I couldn't figure out where it would fit in Cullen Craziness. Don't care if it wins, probably not my best work, but it was a spur of the moment decision. Hope you enjoy. REVEIW!!!**

**Lily.**

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Sitting down in his comfy chair, Emmett smirked to himself as he put in one of his favorite movies. His secret obsession nobody knew about, Harry Potter. He was obsessed, and luckily for him, he was careful to never think about it around Eddie boy. He shuddered at the thought of his brothers finding out about his obsession. Today though, everyone was out hunting. Emmett had actually planned ahead for once in his life and went hunting the day before, claiming he wanted to bag all the good grizzlies before everyone else got their hands on them.

Leaning backwards, Emmett clicked play on the remote, and the words HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE appeared on the screen. Emmett smirked. Running into the forest at vampire speed, Emmett grabbed his secret stash of his 'grizzly bear shake'. He ran back into the living room and sat down. He leaned back again, sucking slightly, and continued staring at the screen, totally engrossed in the movie.

So engrossed in the movie, Emmett actually jumped up when the smell of wet dog reached his nose and the mutt burst through the doors. Spilling his 'grizzly bear' shake, Emmett started cursing and glared at Jacob. Jacob grinned back sheepishly and plopped down on the sofa next to Emmett.

"Hey, Emmett. I was just bored....thought I'd crash at your place." Jacob said nonchalantly. Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Sure, whatever kid. As long as you like Harry Potter and you don't tell anyone about this." Jake smirked.

"I love Harry Potter, and this goes ditto to you."

Both of them sat back and continued watching the opening of the movie. Jacob's stomach growled though, shortly afterward and Jacob went up to explore the kitchen. He went through the cupboard and found what he had been looking for: Greasy, buttery, salty, popcorn. He popped it in the microwave (excuse the pun) and hit the 'popcorn' button. Looking into the microwave hungrily, Jake jumped a foot in the air when Emmett was breathing down his neck, staring at the popcorn intently.

"What is that stuff???" Emmett asked, totally bewildered.

"It's popcorn....food...." was the shape-shifter's brilliant response. Emmett's face contorted in disgust.

"You mean, people eat that??"

The wolf rolled his eyes and nodded. Looking into the microwave, Emmett took a loud sniff and shuddered. "Honestly doesn't smell very good..."

Jacob glared at Emmett. "If you don't like the smell, go watch the movie! I bet you couldn't even handle this.....Popcorn is way too manly for you." Jacob said with a smirk. Emmett glared at Jacob and was just about to take a swing when Jacob opened the microwave door and grabbed the popcorn bag. He opened the bag abruptly and shoved his face with popcorn. Emmett watched him intently, both disgusted and engrossed.

"Popcorn! Of all things, it had to be popcorn! Totally barbaric and unfair!" Emmett complained.

"Who said life was fair? They lied. And I get it. You're just not manly enough." Jake said, knowing it would push Emmett's buttons.

"Hey, let me try!" Emmett said. "I'm manly too!!! And I get action in bed." he said with a smirk.

Jake rolled his eyes, but preceded to hand Emmett the bag. Emmett took a handful and looked at it, with a disgusted look on his face. Walking back into the living room with the bag of popcorn, Emmett continued to stare at the popcorn more intently then he had been watching the movie. Finally, he shoved the popcorn in his mouth. A disgusted look crossed onto his face, much to an amused Jacob's satisfaction, but Emmett swallowed the popcorn.

Spitting a kernel on the ground, Emmett wiped his mouth. "Ew....how can you eat that??" he said, disgusted. Jacob snorted and pointed at Emmett's 'Grizzly shake'.

"How the heck can you drink that? Leech..." he muttered. Emmett rolled his eyes, but eyeing his shake, got an idea. Slowly, he brought the straw up to his lips and sucked. Then, stopping the flow of the thick, grizzly blood, he aimed it at Jake's open mouth and shot it out.

A splatter of blood hit Jacob, a little bit seeping into his mouth. Jacob jumped up and ran towards Emmett growling. Emmett laughed and side stepped him. Jacob ran into the recliner and spilled Emmett's grizzly shake all over. Growling slightly, Jacob sat down, realizing he didn't want to start a fight on the leech's turf.

Sitting back, the two continued to watch the movie in silence, with an occasional whine from Emmett whenever Jake refused to let Emmett lick the blood off of him. He also wouldn't let Emmett eat any more of the popcorn, either. Jacob was actually quite irritated with Emmett at the moment.

In the middle of the choosing of the champions scene, Emmett looked over at Jacob as he popped another piece of popcorn in his mouth, with blood dripping down his back. Emmett groaned.

"Keeping blood from me is one thing, but popcorn?? That's just not fair!!" he said, part sarcastically, part serious. Jacob didn't know how to respond, so he just shrugged his shoulders.

Right before the Yule Ball scene, the family waltzed through the front door.

"Hey guys! Hey, Jake. Didn't expect you to be here…Jake….why are you covered in blood. EMMETT, WHAT DID YOU DO?" Bella shouted, Nessie following close behind her. Upon seeing Jake, Nessie leaped over to him and landed spot on his lap where she cuddled with him, getting a bit of grizzly blood in her hair. Rubbing her back comfortingly, Jacob looked up and answered them.

"Yeah, I was just a little bored. I came over here to watch a movie with Emmett." The family looked at the screen, and to Emmett's horror, Harry's face came on the screen. Completely distracted, the family, but mostly Edward and Jasper, burst out laughing.

Sitting down on the couch next to Jake and Nessie, Alice stuck her tongue out at her siblings. "For your information, people, I actually love Harry Potter, though he's nothing compared to you, Jazzy." She added quickly seeing Jasper's face.

Everyone else situated themselves in the living room around the TV, chatting absent mindedly. Staring at the popcorn bag, Nessie pointed at it. Jacob laughed and asked her if she wanted some popcorn. Nodding her head curiously, the little hybrid took a small handful and shoved it in her mouth, only to grin at Jacob.

Emmett stared, disgusted and Edward burst out laughing at his thoughts. "Don't know how the kid could eat that….disgusting stuff."

Edward quickly explained the situation to them all and once again, Emmett and Jacob were made laughing stocks. Rolling their eyes, Emmett answered them by saying, "Hey, eating human food just proves how manly we are. Right, Jake?" he said, nudging the wolf's side slightly. Wincing slightly from the contact, the wolf just nodded his head.

Edward and Jasper eyed each other quickly. "We're in!" they said together.

The movie was paused a moment. Everyone gathered around the men on the couch, each with a bowl of popcorn in front of them. Alice stood in front of them, holding a green flag she dug up from Aro knows where...

"Ok guys. The rule is simple. Eat the popcorn. On your mark, get set. GOOOOO" Alice shouted, waving the green flag around.

Edward and Jasper eyed the popcorn apprehensively, but nibble don it a bit. Looking disgusted, they popped the bits of fluffy goodness into their mouths. Jacob was shoveling the popcorn in, not as fast as he could, but seeing as he thought there was no competition he didn't bother. Emmett, on the other hand, was going at par with Jacob, shoving the fluffy bits in his mouth as fast as he could.

Jasper was out within about 4 pieces. Gagging slightly, he coughed thepieces back up, much to Nessie's disgust. Slumping down in defeat, Alice gave him a kiss on the cheek and muttered what sounded like 'you'll always be manly to me' in his ear.

Edward was done soon after, doing the same. Nessie was still with Jake, watching intently, but Bella and Edward kissed and Bella laughed when she took a piece of popcorn out of his hair.

It was down to Emmett and Jacob. Jacob glared at Emmett, picking up the pace and shoving popcorn in his cheeks till they were puffed up like a squirrel. They were both down to their last pieces when…

"IT'S A TIE???!!??" Alice screamed, absolutely shocked. Everyone stood there, dumbfounded. Emmett took one look at the empty bowl and held his h and out for Jacob to shake it. Nessie jumped up from his lap and went to go hug her father. As soon as Jacob grabbed Emmett's hand, Emmett felt the popcorn come up and suddenly there was vampire vomit and popcorn bits and the blood from before all in Jacob's hair.

With a disgusted look, Jacob glared at the Cullen's as they all laughed.

"I'm going to going to go take a shower. " he said, and stomped up into the bathroom.

Laughing, Emmett decided now would be a good time to do his 'Butt shaking victory dance' only to be subdued by Edward and Jasper. Pouting slightly, he slid back on the sofa.

Continuing the movie, knowing that Jacob could hear, the gang watched the Yule Ball in silence, with a few snickers from Emmett. Suddenly, Emmett spit out the popcorn he had been chewing on, having them land in Rosalie's hair.

"HOLY CROW, EDDIE!!! LOOK!!! IT'S YOU!!!!!" Emmett shouted, jumping up. In the process, knocking over the coffee table and making popcorn fly everywhere.

Rosalie glared at her husband. "EMMETT!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!!" Completely bewildered, Emmett looked at his wife, only to see her furious with a little bit of popcorn in her hair. Staring blankly at her just ticked her off more…

"YOU. GOT. FOOD. IN. MY HAIR!!!!" She yelled and Emmett just grinned at her sheepishly as she fumed.

A whoosh came, and then Jacob was standing at the bottom of the steps in nothing but a towel.

"WHAT HAPPENED???"

Rolling his eyes, Edward answered, "Oh nothing. Emmett seems to think that the Cedric Diggory boy looks like me…"

Squinting at the screen, Jacob frowned. "Well, Eddie boy. I hate to break it to you, but it does look a heck of a lot like you."

Squinting at the screen, Edward shook his head. "Emmett….that looks nothing like me."

Looking at the screen now, concentrating, the rest of the gang squinted. "OMIGOSH, EDWARD, THAT IS TOTALLY YOU!!" Alice and Rosalie squealed.

"Edward, dear. It does look a lot like you…" Bella agreed. Pointing at the screen, Nessie smiled up at her father and continued pointing at Cedric. "Daddy, how did you get in the TV?" she asked, innocently.

Jasper and Emmett just laughed.

Grumbling slightly, Edward turned his attention back to the TV. With a few more snickers, the gang did a following suit. With a few more jibes and snickers towards Edward, the movie ended quickly and soon, Jacob claimed he was going to head home to hit the hay. Nessie had already gone back to the cottage to go to sleep.

Waving slightly, Jacob stepped out on the front porch, only to run into Emmett. He held his hand out with a cocky grin on his face.

"That was fun tonight, mutt. We should do it again sometime." He said, laughing slightly. "I haven't had that much fun in a while. And that's saying something!"

Slightly surprised, Jacob shook his hand. Smirking slightly, he grabbed a piece of popcorn from his pocket and put it in his hand.

"Here Have a blast." He said smirking. Emmett stared at the popcorn with a frown for a moment till it clicked.

"Popcorn? That's not fair!! I want my grizzly shake back!!" Emmett shouted, but by that time, Jacob was already running home.

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**Meh....I think it was horrible but whatever!!!!!! Hope you guys liked. :) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVEIW!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Lily. **


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